I have been doing a lot of thinking today. This thinking was catalyzed by the fact that I pretty much have had two major freakouts in the past week, both of which, disturbingly, possess no real basis or logic to them. Yes, I have been under a lot of stress this year. Yes, my life is kind of a mess. However, people have noted — and i agree — that lately, i have had the majorly unattractive tendency to zoom in on small things, which magnifies them to the point that they completely take over my entire field of vision, and then i panic and freak. That’s not normal for me, and it’s kind of disturbing.
I also think I know what’s causing it, or at least what is exacerbating what, under normal circumstances, is a rather benign tendency that I am perfectly capable of talking myself down from. I think I am actually taking crazy pills. By crazy pills, I mean Ortho-Cept, which is a form of hormonal birth control. It’s pretty high in estrogen, which can cause moodiness, and I really think there is a good chance that this is what is causing the massive apocalyptic freakouts.
The reason I think it’s this is simply because I went off the Ortho-Cept for about 6-8 weeks due to the fact that I thought it could be causing me to have high blood pressure and abdominal pain, and my doctor recommended I stop taking it. During those weeks, I didn’t have a single unexplained tearfest, no blowouts, no inconsolable black moods. I went back on it 3 weeks ago because the blood pressure and pain stuff turned out to be from my job (whee), and since then my moods have been insane. I actually feel crazy.
So I’m going to ask my doctor for a prescription pill that contains significantly less estrogen. I’ve gotten a couple recommendations from people, and I think that it’s worth a shot.
If you read this, what do you think? What has your experience been with hormonal birth control? If you’re a dude, but know women who have dealt with this stuff, what’s your take?
I gotta say, being a chick kind of sucks in terms of reproduction. Not only are we the ones who get to go through labor pains, but we spend about half our lives actively trying not to get pregnant, which involves the use of crazy-making hormones, stuff stuck in our uterus, and/or surgery. Torture. I wish there was an off switch. I do not want to be nuts — it freaks out my boyfriend, and then I feel worse, because he deserves a happier me.