Musings of a Chronic Insomniac

…Actually, I prefer hypnopompic rebel.  Simply said, I don’t think people should have to be confined to the sleep hours prescribed by the 9-5 grind.  I have never been a morning person, I cannot adapt myself to that schedule despite years of trying, and I sincerely doubt that I ever will be a morning person.  The only time I’m okay with seeing that godawful hour of 6 a.m. is when I’m looking at the back of its head.  Its bright blue eyes staring me in the face are the absolute last things I want to see when I wake up.  Ugh.

When I was a young’un, I used to stay up until 2 or so in the morning simply reading by my nightlight.  Of course I got in trouble for it, but that never stopped me.  Going to bed at 9 never worked for me.  I clearly remember being in 4th or 5th grade and watching the lime green digits on my alarm clock keep on turning and turning as the hours would pass.  I feel like I’ve been tired my whole life because the world simply is not built for people like me.

I’ve tried drugging myself.  I’ve tried staying up all night and all the next day.  I’ve tried getting up early even on weekends.  It.  Never.  Works.  Here it is, at ten till 2 on a Monday (technically Tuesday now) night, and I am bright eyed and bushy tailed.  I would stay up all night again, but I have stuff to do tomorrow.

I read something a few months ago that talked about sleep habits being governed by genetics.  My mother is the same as me.  Her normal hours to sleep are somewhere between 5 a.m. and noon.  I function just fine on 6 hours of sleep, sometimes as little as 3 or 4.  However, that sleep is ultimately more beneficial to me if it falls between 3 and 11 rather than 12 and 8.  I don’t know if that makes any sense at all to anyone but me, but there it is.  My boyfriend is the same way.

My sleep schedule is one of the largest reasons I was hesitant to take my current job.  And finding a job conducive to my schedule is going to be a prerequisite when I start hunting again.  If you know anyone hiring in Rockville for shifts between 11 and 8, do let me know.

My schedule isn’t really that different from someone who works a 9-5.  I still like to get up, go straight to work, come home, and have a nice evening.  I just do it on a delay of several hours, in which breakfast (if there is one) is around noon, lunch is at 4 or 5, and dinner is at 9 or 10.  I then go to bed at 3 or 4 and wake up again at 11.  It works just fine for me.  Normal.  So why is the rest of the world so different?  Sigh.

I’m not going to take any of my meds tonight.  They leave me far too groggy when I wake up, and on Friday, I was so groggy I turned off my alarm clock.  Hardly surprising when I only got 2 hours of sleep, but still.  Not particularly endearing to the bosses.

Well.  On that note, I’m off to see if sleep evades me or not.  For me, going to bed at 2 is like the average person hitting the hay around 7:30 or 8.  But we’ll see if I can make it work.  Going to bed before midnight makes me feel like I’ve completely lost my evening.  Night is such a peaceful time.  It’s quiet and comfortable.  I’ve always liked the night.  It only makes sense that it’s my natural habitat.

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About Emmie Mears

Saving the world from brooding, one self-actualized vampire at a time.

Posted on 11 May, 2010, in meanderings, snapshots life, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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