I can’t help but smile. And I also can’t help that even 24 hours later, when I smile about this, a couple of tears spring to my eyes as well. Something happened to me yesterday that I had been waiting twenty years for. There really aren’t many of those things; I’ve only been alive for twenty-five. And yet this is one of the few, and indeed one of the least likely to have transpired. But it did.
This is a story of magic and love. One that, like the smile and the prickling tears, I can’t help but share.
Last night, I was driving home from my boyfriend’s band’s show with him in my little blue Civic. We chatted briefly about mundane things — plans for the next day which included a bro-down for him and a ladies brunch for me. About halfway home, he told me that he’d gotten me something. I thought, Huh. Good thing I got him something too. He informed me that it was something I had mentioned in the previous couple weeks and that he had resolved to get it for me.
I was intrigued; I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what it could be. The only thing I remembered mentioning that I wanted was pie, and I rather doubted he had gotten me a pie.
He went on to tell me that he would surprise me with it. I might not get it tonight, but maybe in the morning. Or next week. Whenever the moment seemed right. And no, it wasn’t sex. This made me even more confused, and more firmly ruled out pie, since he already had it, and I don’t think he would give me a week old pie.
I was thoroughly curious by this point. I told him I had something for him, as well. But that it was a small thing I’d picked up at the Dollar Store, and no, my gift wasn’t sex either, nor anything remotely sexual. We came to the conclusion that anything sexual from the Dollar Store most likely was not to be trusted. Luckily, I’d just gotten him a basting brush. My boyfriend happens to make some damn fine bruschetta, and each time we shop for ingredients, he always pauses at the basting brushes and then never gets one because they’re about $8. So when I saw a red Betty Crocker silicone basting brush for a dollar, I had to get it.
An hour or so later, we were in bed. We had a long conversation about my previous blog about dating musicians, including the thoughts that I’d had about what that meant about priorities. He kissed me very gently on the forehead, and as always, I could not help but smile into his shoulder.
I rolled over and put one arm under my pillow. It encountered something there. It felt like plastic, cool to the touch. Like a tube of some kind. I exclaimed that there was something under my pillow, thinking it was just something that had gotten thrown there accidentally before we made the bed. I wondered aloud what it was, and he turned on the light so I could see.
Rewind twenty years.
A five-year-old girl humbly asks Santa for something extra special for Christmas. Beyond the Care Bears, her heart’s desire was set. This little girl was convinced that magic was out there, that it was real, and that one day, it would find her. So she did what anyone would do in that position: she asked the most magical person she could think of for something magical. A magic wand. With real magic.
Christmas came and went — the Care Bears arrived, but the wand did not. The small girl lifted her voice and with it, she made a deal. “Santa,” she said, “I know you’re very busy. You had to get to all the little kids in the world, and so I understand that you probably didn’t have time to bring it. But…I really do want it more than anything. I won’t try to see you — just leave it under my bed when you get the chance.”
She looked under her bed every morning for over a year. And even when she finally stopped, she knew magic still existed. Even when the time came two years later for her to stop believing in the Santa that rode in his sleigh delivering gifts and exchanged that image for the picture of a box from a stranger, wrapped in brown paper. A stranger who heard her letter on the news asking for Santa to fix the leak in the roof above her bed and paid for it himself, along with everything else that she had mentioned in her letter — every jewel Polly Pocket and the crown of all, the princess castle. In fact, she was even more sure magic existed. She knew that she would never be surprised when she found it.
When the light came on, I found myself holding a black stick, silver at both ends. My jaw fell open. “It’s a magic wand,” my boyfriend said. Dumbfounded, I stared at him. “And you already have the magic for it.”
“You got me my wand.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say. In that moment, I was five years old again, looking under my bed, expecting a miracle. Tears fell. I had told him the story over brunch at our new favorite restaurant, sipping delicious strawberry lemonade and eating sandwiches made with waffles and sweet potato fries.
As I hold it now, I’m sure. I can feel it in my hands, in my blood, in the air. There is magic in this wand, real magic.
I always knew I’d find it.
Posted on 3 May, 2010, in love, Uncategorized and tagged belief, beltane, child, clarity, future, happiness, joy, love, magic, magic wand, memory, perfect weekend, relationships, santa, shiny, unique, warm. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.