holidays. high holy days. whatever that happens to mean to you.
sorry i’ve been absent. i’ve been busy being in love.
yes, i meant to write that. it happens, i suppose. love is an easy thing to be caught up in. especially when you never expected to find it for real or be allowed to touch it. it all started a year and a half ago. to make a long story a wee bit shorter, i (and he) knew from the beginning where we should go when we met. but we couldn’t then, and we couldn’t for a very long time. i couldn’t help waiting though. i had to know what would happen.
so for the past six months, we’ve been finding out the “what next” after we got our chance. and for the past two months, we’ve been together, in the official sense of things.
i never thought i’d have this chance again…and i certainly didn’t expect to ever find love that wasn’t the unrequited variety. and yet. here i am. how lovely and odd.
needless to say, i’m really very happy. i wrote something a couple posts back about how it’s one thing to be tolerated and something else entirely to be enjoyed. appreciated. i’ve never had a relationship where my quirks and idiosyncrasies were valued rather than merely put up with. and it’s not as if we’re in the realm of rose colored glasses — this is also new territory for me because we’ve known each other for a year and a half. and i’m finding that i simply enjoy him.
i’m finding that after a year and a half of wondering, hoping, waiting, nail-biting, pacing, laughing, soaring, head-scratching — i’m finding that after all that, his cogs and my cogs fit together still and simply turn. clockwork.
when i’m with him, i’m more me than i’ve ever been able to be with anyone. no pretentiousness or hiding. and he’s who he is. and that’s what i love about us. that we’re two whole people building something more.
i was talking to a friend today who is also very happily ensconced in love. we decided that there are few better feelings than falling for a good, good man. especially when there have been so many bad ones before.
so this holiday season i am celebrating life. i’m celebrating the changes that have brought me to dc and teaching my children to the best of my ability. celebrating love and good friends and the changing of the seasons. being grateful for what i have and the ability to share. wishing i could do more for this world.
2009 is winding to a close. when it began, i looked it in the face and said, “you’re going to be a fantastic year to put 2008 to shame.” i wasn’t wrong. i’ve found so many things this year. a place in this country i can call home, which i never thought would happen. a job i can do well that makes a difference. one of my students called me on thanksgiving to say hello — made my night. said job also gives me approximately 3 months per year of time i can write and pursue those things close to my heart. by the end of this i will be financially stable for the first time ever. i’ve found love, in more ways than one. i may be busy and stressed, but i’m building a good life for myself here. and i cannot wait to see where it goes.
happy holidays, whatever you celebrate.
may your days this winter be full of warmth, joy, and peace.
Posted on 30 November, 2009, in holiday, love and tagged authenticity, clarity, communication, friends, happy, honesty, hope, life, love, music, night, relationships, thoughts, trust, warm, work. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.