calm

the chamomile tea burns my tongue as i sip gingerly from my cardboard cup.  calm. that’s the name of this magical herbal elixer.  so far, it’s not working.  the scents evoke memories in my mind.  plucking the little green herbs as a child, picking apart the yellow heads as the scent of fresh chamomile rose from the scraps.  the tea bag* now is filled with those little dried bits, sodden now in scorching water, combined with the tang of mint and some unidentified red specks that remind me, rather inappropriately, of pimentos.

as sweet and comforting as the scent and taste is on a normal day, today it may as well be listerine for all the good it’s doing for my nerves.

our brains are such fickle things.  greatest ally and archnemesis at the same time.  how sad.

this week has been a bit of a rollercoaster.  i have been surprised at a few moments, mostly pertaining to my job.  here they are in hodge-podge format.

our broker and i share a love for hardcore rock.  i always loved rob zombie and marilyn manson when i was a teenager.  this woman does not strike me as someone who would like that kind of music…and it just goes to show how much working in a corporate environment can do to strip people of their identities and hobbies.  we had a great conversation about music with lots of screaming.  it was pretty awesome.

i’ve realized writing this that a lot of people don’t know that about me, either.  welp, now you do.

i shouldn’t have gotten groceries for this week.  i’ve been treated to lunch so many times.

my boss’s dad took me out for a two hour lunch on wednesday.  it was honestly one of the most pleasant times i have had.  he is such a genuine, caring man, and i truly enjoyed talking to him the whole time.  he told me over and over this week how sad he is that i’m leaving.  and told me that his wife and friends (many of whom have come into the office) are really quite dejected as well.  he said they all had nothing but the best things to say about me, and that they really will miss me.  i was touched.  as i stood there smiling awkwardly, he told one of his guests that i would go out and do great things for the world.  his guest,  expressed a hope that he would see me again and echoed mr. andrews’s statement that i would go on to impact wider reaches.

my boss, the owner of this company, came up yesterday afternoon to say goodbye, even though he’s around today.  he told me this place was too small of a pond for me, and…as i write this, he just now came up to me again on his way out the door, handed me a check for $100, and told me he hoped i would come back to visit.  i’m truly blown away.

melanie, our office manager, gave me one of the sweetest and most touching cards i think i’ve ever received.  suffice it to say that i’ll miss her.  a lot.  she also printed out the recommendation she wrote for me to teach for america.  after reading that, i’m more than shocked.  i don’t think anyone has ever written anything so glowing about me.

two of our agents, a mother and daughter team, gave me a card with $50 in it.  they left before i could thank them.

one of our other agents (who recently transferred his license to another firm)  is taking me to lunch today.  he’s been one of the most friendly people i’ve met here, and a genuinely good guy.  his son is a great reader, and i’ve really enjoyed knowing them both.

another agent who also transferred her license is taking me to coffee on tuesday afternoon.  she and i really bonded over lunch breaks in the kitchen and talking about all sorts of stuff.

a good friend (not from work) has been driving me to work and back for the last week.  seventy miles of driving a day.  words can’t even describe how grateful i am.  it means so much to me.

another friend gave me $140 to help me out. others have helped pack and move boxes and given me tremendous amounts of moral support.

basically, i feel beyond lucky right now.  about work…even though this job isn’t something that i really aspire to, the people here have been absolutely priceless.  i don’t even know what to do with myself.

i’ve gone through a lot of my life being rather cynical.  but i have to say, more and more this year, i’m finding that people are surprising me…for the better.  and that’s something i’m going to hold onto through the next 5 days.  maybe that chamomile tea worked after all.

*i can’t think about “tea bag” without my brain going to a gutter place.  thanks, republican party and all your tea parties that spawned relentless jabs of tea-bagging.  yep.  thanks.

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About Emmie Mears

Saving the world from brooding, one self-actualized vampire at a time.

Posted on 8 May, 2009, in love, meanderings and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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